I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
