i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
