i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
