Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
