He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
