What did we do last night that was yellow?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
