I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
