Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
