my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
