dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
