I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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