OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
