Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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