So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
