We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
