If that was your dad, he is hot
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
