Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
