How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i came on her dog
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
