woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
