If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
