we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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