There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
