I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
