You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
