fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
All I want is dick and wine.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
