please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
