You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
