I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Less talking, more tequila
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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