hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I want her autograph on my taint
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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