I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she pinky promised me she was 18
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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