come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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