btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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