have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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