I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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