i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
