Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
