It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
