We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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