So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
