Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
