I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she pinky promised me she was 18
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
