dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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