so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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