omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
