I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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