i don't like sucking hair
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
