So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
