they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
