I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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