He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
